


The Biggest, Uncoolest Tool in the Universe

by LadySage



Series: Floorstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Floorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-28
Updated: 2011-08-28
Packaged: 2017-10-23 03:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySage/pseuds/LadySage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soooooooo coooooooool.  Two words that, coming from the right person, never fail to melt Dave's heart.  But when Dave is caught drunk and unprepared by that person on the roof of Hussie Hall, he finds his judgement clouded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Biggest, Uncoolest Tool in the Universe

Dave felt grateful that his breath was only visible because of the smoke coming from his lungs, not because of the cold. He had emerged from the party downstairs for a cigarette, and for the first time he didn’t have to put on an extra five layers before going outside. It was hard to look cool in a puffy down coat.

He took another drag, feeling the nicotine buzz mingle and combine with the two shots of whiskey he had already downed. Felt good. Someone came up behind him. He prepared his usual disaffected smirk and turned, expecting Kanaya or Eridan or even Karkat, who still snuck the occasional smoke when he was drunk.

Instead, he got Jade.

“Hey there Harley. What brings you to the cancer ward?” This was the first time in a long while they were alone together. Couldn’t let his mask of ironic detachment slip.

She giggled. “I just saw that it was actually clear out, so I decided to come up and look at the stars! And besides, Karkat was starting to argue with himself,” she added, rolling her eyes.

“I’ve tried arguing with myself but it always goes the same way: I realize how right I am because I am just so fucking cool.”

Her face split into a wide grin, revealing the crooked teeth that Dave couldn’t help but find adorable. “Sooooo coooool.”

His heart melted a little every time she said that.

She spun around, her arms outstretched. “It feels sooooo good to be able to be outside in just a light sweater! It was never cold on the island, so I wasn’t used to it at all. I was starting to feel like I’d never be warm again!”

“Yeah, I know how you feel. Houston’s pretty warm, but it’s always 10 degrees cooler for me than for everyone else, so it was extra tough.”

“Because you’re just so cool, right?”

“That’s the idea.”

She sat down on a bench and stared upwards. “And the stars…you could see so many stars, all the time! When I was little I thought I could see every star in the universe. But here, it’s so cloudy all the time. Even if it’s clear, the city lights block out all but the brightest stars.”

“Yeah, I felt the same way as a kid.”

“Somehow I don’t think you can see very many stars in Houston!”

“Nope. I just didn’t think there were very many stars.”

She turned, casting him a suspicious look. “Can you even see any stars in those things anyway?” she asked, pointing accusingly at his sunglasses.

“Sure I can. All ten of them.”

A mischievous smile broke across her face, and she stood and walked off.

Dave felt his sunglasses lift up and off his face. He whirled around, and Jade stood behind him, holding them out of his reach.

Panic gripped him. My eyes…what if she sees my eyes? He struggled not to let it show on his face.

“Hey, think I could have those back?” Could she see the red? He could see the brilliant green of her irises. Or was it just because he already knew? His heart thudded in his ears.

If she could see the color, she gave no sign. Instead, she just shook her head. “Now look up,” she commanded.

He did as she said, tilting his chin toward the sky. He had done some stargazing as a kid, so what he saw didn’t wholly surprise him. Still, it had been a while, and he wondered if he had seen as many stars in Houston.

What he saw when he lowered his face did surprise him. Jade was standing only inches from him. He thought he was going to faint.

“Now was that so hard?” She raised his glasses, preparing to place them back on his face.

“Well…” Her fingertips brushed his face as she hooked the earpieces over his ears. “G-guess not…” Fuck, the stutter! He felt like the biggest, uncoolest tool in the universe, but he tried not to let it show.

She wasn’t much shorter than him: only three or four inches. Her face was so close to his. It would be so easy just to lean over and… Just like with so many girls before…

He wasn’t sure what intoxicated him more: the booze or her smile. Either way, something was making his head swim. For one, he was having embarrassingly uncool thoughts like that. For another, despite his better judgment, he leaned over and kissed her softly.

He half-expected her to punch or scold him. The other half was for her to laugh at him, or to kiss him back.

What he didn’t expect was for her to stare at him in shock and, from what he could tell, horror, and then flee downstairs.

But that’s what she did.

Yep, definitely the biggest, uncoolest tool in the universe.


End file.
